”A few days later Carroll and I went down to what was once the place I lived. I went inside and grabbed my clothes, a few photos, my two guitars, my other surfboard and I said goodby to La Conchita and the single life.
It wasn’t to long that Carroll and I settled into the lifestyle of a young couple working and pooling our resouces together to sustain a comfortable lifestyle. I was able to buy a car from my friend Steve Padroni who lived at Rincon Point. It was a blue 1968 Rambler American station wagon with a six cylinder engine and an automatic transmission. It also came with a big bright orange bumper sticker that said “NATIVE CALIFORNIANS UNITE” I loved this car it was the perfect surfing vehicle. I continued working at the Plastic Factory. I was working three 12 hour days with four days off. I was also busy one night a week mopping and polishing the floors at Casa Ayala. This allowed me to eat there whenever for free.
Carroll and I had been living in her apartment for about two months under the guise that I was looking for my own place. Which I kinda was. I had checked with a few people in town that were renting rooms or small studios. But whenever I brought these up to Carroll she would get all teary eyed and sad and ask me why I wanted to leave. “Well basically your parents don’t like our arrangement” I told her. “I know” she said “They don’t like the idea of us ”Living in Sin” “OK then I’m looking for my own place so we arn’t living in sin and then your parents won’t be on our case” “Do you really want your own place?” she asked me “Well to be perfectly honest I could live with you forever if your parents didn’t mind.” Really? forever?” “Yeah probably” I said. ”Then lets get married” Gulp! “It would be just like we are now but legal and then my parents would be happy.” “Maybe we could look for our own little place and get out of my apartment.” The wheels in my brain began to turn all the positives and negatives, you know weighing things out. “Humm maybe we could find a little house on or near the water. Do I really think I can make a long term commit… fuck long term, you mean a fuckin lifetime commitment to one women. That was the hard one. ” I don’t know Carroll that’s a really big step I gotta think about it.“ “Whats there to think about don’t you love me?” Whoa! now we’re throwing that word out on the table. It had suddenly occurred to me that I had never said “I love you” to her. She had me pinned down with her marriage proposal and the “don’t you love me” thing, a one two punch to the soul. “Of course I do baby” I blurted out. “But let me think about this and I’ll get back to you OK?” “OK” she harrumphed. We didn’t talk much that evening, I was doing some serious soul searching. But I still thought she was hot!
A week later we were engaged to be married and the planning began in earnest. Carrolls parents were elated to marry their first daughter and they were going to spare no expense. Then about two weeks before our wedding day we found our dream house. We had heard from a friend that a small cottage located on Bates Road was available for rent. Bates Road is a small two lane coastal canyon road that follows Rincon Creek back up into the avocado and citrus infested coastal mountains. It’s the divide between Santa Barbara and Ventura Counties. The small wooden bungalow was located right at the mouth of the canyon on the side of a small hill. It was lush with vegetation like a jungle and all you had to do was walk down to the point to ride world class waves. I was sooo stoked to get that place. I knew this marriage thing was a good idea. We were to move in one week before our wedding day.
The days and weeks flew by and before you knew it the big day was upon us. We got married in the historic Santa Barbara Mission and held the reception at Rockie Nook Park just around the corner. It was just another typical lavish wedding. If you’ve been to one you’ve been to them all. The best part was coming home to our little house on Bates Road.
Posts Tagged ‘sex’
I was really into Carroll and we started to see each other regularly. I was still sleeping on the couch when I stayed overnight and we were starting to burn more and more passionately every time I was there. But we didn’t fuck. We wanted to but there was something stopping her from going over the edge. Then one evening when we were really goin at it she asked me to go to bed with her. I was a little taken aback because I knew this was a big step for her and it meant alot. I asked her “Are you sure you want to do this?” “Yes” she said. She took my hand and we walked down the hall to her bedroom a room I had only been in once. She turned towards me and we kissed hard, deep and passionately. It was on, and it was good! Hours later as we lay in her bed with a full moon and a slight evening breeze bringing with it the smell of night blooming jasmine through her open sliding glass doors, Carroll began to cry really hard “Whats the matter baby” I said “Oh nothing I’ll be fine” “No your not going to do that. I want to know whats wrong.” Thats when she told me about her rape.
Carroll came from a wealthy Catholic family growing up in Orange County California. Her father had a successful thriving commercial painting business with some huge contracts. Her mother was right out of “Real Orange County House Wives” a real high maintenance glamour queen. They lived in very affluent upper class community. Carroll was an excellent student going to one of the best private schools in the area. She was also involved in community volunteer work with her church. She had one younger sister Judy. Judy was one year younger than Carroll and just as beautiful. These girls got what ever they wanted from mom and dad. Not spoiled but real close.
It happened a little over a year ago when Carroll and her girlfriend Connie decided to go to the north shore of Oahu in Hawaii during the Pro Surfing contest season. They thought it would be really fun to hang out and meet some of the Pro Surfers and locals that winter and watch some of the big wave contests. It was during a post contest party at one of the Pro sponsored dorms that Carroll ran into trouble. During the partying Connie and Carroll had no problem meeting a variety of surfers from all over the world some famous, some not so famous, and some just local neighborhood hangerounds. Carroll met the latter. He offered her a ride back to where she was staying and she took the bait. He drove her out to a secluded sugar cane road had his way with her and left her there bruised and battered. When she told me about this it turned my stomach with anger and thoughts of revenge. I had seen so much violence against my mother growing up and Carroll was such a sweet girl it just really troubled me very deeply.
After she confided in me she said that I was the first guy she really felt comfortable being with since her tragic experience. She felt comfortable being around me, hanging out with me, and now sexually. I began to spend more and more time at her apartment. Then one day when I was at “Smiths Food King” getting some things for supper at Carrolls I ran into my roommate Dave. “Hey dude we havn’t seen you around much at the pad” “Yeah I know” I said. “Well I should let you know that I’m moving out next week and I think Antman is going back to his parents house on the rock” Whoa! your moving out of Shangrala? Yeah I’m going up to San Luis Obispo to work with my dad driving a big rig.” “Cool, you’ll make some good money workin for your Dad.” I said. “Thats the plan bro. What are you gonna do?” “Uhh I don’t know, I’ll figure out something.” “Well if I don’t see ya take care and good luck!” I didn’t like the way he said “good luck” it had a sarcastic ring to it. “Yeah whatever” I said.
I had just started a new job in Carpinteria at Percal Plastics. I was operating an injection mold machine at a place that made everything from skateboard wheels to those dark green soil pots for all the wholesale nurseries in Carpinteria. That night over eggplant parmesan I told Carroll about my roommates departure from La Conchita. “Well now that your working why don’t stay here with me. We’re practically living together as it is” I thought about what she just said. I had never lived with another girl let alone one that I was romantically associating with. “Yeah but what about your parents” I said. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it. But I couldn’t sit there and think for to long. “We’ll worry about that later” she said. I had to respond. “Yeah lets do it!” Uhh Oh…did I say that?
That summer on Commerce Ave. in Tujunga California was full of beer, drugs, and sex with very little if any responsibility. No job, no car, no bills, no rent, nothing. My friends started to turn on me. I was the loser, slacker, free loader. All I had to offer was a place for them to hang out and party at if they had no where else to go. Then one evening a bunch of the people I had been associating with came over to my house. Everyone was in a great mood and we were all having a good time when a buddy of mine took me over to his car and in a quite tone said “Hey Keith I got some really good acid wanna try a hit?” “Sure” I said and I took a hit of Orange Sunshine. After about an hour I started to come on to what was to be the strongest dose of LSD I had ever taken. I went into a complete separation from reality with momentary fades into real world, or what I thought was real world. All I could do was sit on a chair for hours unable to stand or communicate, I was completely helpless. People started to come up to me with grotesque faces and spew insults about me, my mother, my life, they called me a fag, a fuckin nobody, a worthless piece of shit, they poured beer on me and threw empty cans at me, they flicked their cigarettes on me. They took this opportunity to just fuck with me and my mind, and there was nothing I could do or say. I was completely helpless.
Early the next morning I found myself alone lying in the driveway under that messy pepper tree amidst all the debris that was thrown at me. There wasn’t a sound except for an annoying blue jay above my head. I was a filthy mess both physically and spiritually I had not spoken to God in a long, long time but that morning while steeped in humility I prayed.
Now my faith has always been lazy but it has always been there, and it has always come through for me. On that morning it came through for me again. After my prayer I got up and went into my humble little place, took a shower and cleaned up. I walked down to the local liquor store and got a newspaper and sat on a bench and started looking for a job. I made a few phone calls with what little money I had and soon I was asked by two employers to come down and fill out an application. Two days later I had a job working at a machine shop in that God forsaken town of Sun Valley California. Sun Valley was about twenty miles from where I was living and I didn’t have a car or bus fare, so for about two weeks I would hitch hike my way to and from work. I rode with some strange freaks in those two weeks. As for food, I would pick cumquat’s, pomegranates, cactus apples, oranges and my personal favorite avocados from neighborhood trees for food. I also had to do a little bit of shop lifting at the grocery store every now and then.
After a couple of weeks at the machine shop I got my first paycheck $135 “Alright!” I finally had some cash. I went to the local Sizzler Steak House and had a steak a salad and a baked potato for supper. Then I walked to my local liquor store and bought a bottle of wine. I never purchased beer to bring home because I didn’t have a refrigerator. But a big jug of Red Mountain wine was perfect. In fact wine became my beverage of choice. I found the buzz from some red wine and a little reefer to be very mellow and relaxing after a day at the office.
I was working at “the shop” for about a month and I was getting really tired of taking the bus. The bus took to long. I wanted my own car. I managed to save about $200 that first month of work because I had no bills. Then one day a co-worker named David said “Hey Keith I heard your interested in getting some wheels” “Yes I am” I said. “Well my mom is selling her car for $500” “What is kind is it?” I asked, “It’s a 1952 Pontiac Chieftain and it runs perfect. Plus the Indian Head hood ornament lights up at night!” Wow that sounds really cool!” I said but I only have about $300 till our next pay period. “That’s alright we can go over to my mothers after work today and you can take a look at it and talk to my mom about it.” “Right on dude lets do that” I agreed. “Cool see ya after work.” I rode with Dave over to his mothers that evening to look at the Chief and see if maybe we could make a deal. When we arrived I saw the Chief in their driveway. It was so cool. It was big and black and kind of mean looking. Lots of chrome on the front end and an Indian head hood ornament that really did light up at night. The inside was spacious, a big bench front seat and a big bench back seat. The headliner was completely intact and there were no holes in the seats. I talked to Daves mother Mrs. Gonzalez about buying the car, she agreed that I could pay her $300 dollars and take the car and then give her $200 in two weeks. We agreed and Dave gave me a ride back to my house where my money was stashed and I drove my black Pontiac Chieftain back home with the hood ornament lit up and showing the way.
I paid Mrs. Gonzalez her balance as agreed, the Pontiac ran beautifully with it’s straight eight engine and HydroGlide transmission. I felt good, really good! I started going to the beach again on weekends, I bought a new surfboard and a wetsuit. But what I find interesting about this period in my life is that during this “success” I was very much alone. I did not want to share this with anyone. I became a loner and I liked it that way. Just leave me alone and I’ll be happy and for a brief moment I was.
Shortly after Rick had bought us the house in Sunland, and we were all moved in things started to go downhill really fast between my mother and Rick. At first things were “normal” much like they were with my first step father. Rick came home from work. We all ate dinner together. We all watched TV. The kids went to bed. Then the fuckin fireworks started.
Rick liked his Coors, and he drank it alot. Despite his love for his beer he was in really good shape. Like a stocky running back. He was a master mechanic, and I think he built heavy duty hydraulic machinery for a living. He handled lots of big heavy tools.
Now I think Rick got played by my mother. I think she latched on to someone out of desperation after the divorce from her last husband. Rick was young, good looking and had a good job. My mother was good looking but had some major baggage, four kids. Despite the baggage Rick took the bait. I think he got in a little over his head, although he did give it a good try. In retrospect I can see that now. The only thing I could glean out of my mothers relationship with Rick is that she cut off the sex after about 8 months into the marriage. I deduced this theory because I no longer heard the headboard bouncing against the wall on a regular basis.
Then one night after us kids were in bed, Rick started yelling and cussing and just basically going off on my mom. Then my mother started yelling and cussing and just basically going of on Rick. As the argument escalated I began to here things like “I’m going to fucking kill you, you god damn cunt!” Then SMACK, THUD, SMACK, THUD!” Then silence. I heard someone trying to get up. The lamp fell off the end table, I heard the bulb pop. “Where the fuck do you think your going BITCH,” SMACK, THUD, SMACK. More silence only this time longer. I know my bother and sisters were hearing this but no one said a thing. At thirteen I was old enough to want to kick some ass, but not old enough to kick Ricks ass. I had to do something. I got out of bed. I was wearing my boxer shorts and a T-shirt. I was really fuckin scared. I grabbed a miniature wooden baseball bat that was on my dresser and started slowly walking down the hallway to the living room. As I slowly rounded the corner I peaked into the living room to see Rick standing over my mother on the floor in the corner with his back to me. I went into the living room. “FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. It startled the hell out of him as he turned around and stumbled, he had a bottle of beer in his hand. “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME YOU FUCKIN SHIT!” “I SAID YOUR A FUCKIN ASSHOLE!” Now I was really up shit creek. I suddenly thought to myself, “Your going to need a bigger bat.” He charged at me. I was standing by the front door and I went for it. I was running to save my life. I was running across the street to the Schaffers house because I knew Rick would not go there because the Schaffer bothers were some bad ass motherfuckers and their little brother Graig was my bud. I heard what sounded like a breaking beer bottle behind me, I thought Rick threw it at me. As I turned on the run to look, I saw Rick lying in the middle of the street on his face. Apparently he fell running off the curb and slipped on a big oil spot. He fell forward doing a belly flop on the asphalt, breaking his beer bottle.
It took a little while for Rick to peel himself off of the asphalt. He had some pretty good road rash on his arms and face from the fall. When he finally got to his feet LAPD was pulling around the corner as was my uncle Tom who worked for LAPD. They apprehended him before he got back into the house.
I went back into the house as the cops were dealing with Rick. My mom was beaten pretty badly. She had two black eyes and her lips were cut and bleeding her nose was also bleeding. there was blood all over in the corner of the living room. The police offered to get her an ambulance but she refused. She did go to the doctors the next day and she wore sunglasses day and night for a couple weeks.
Rick came back a few weeks later to say he was sorry. My mom accepted.